From fireworks to fireplaces, summer stole what fall replaces. And now we’re people watching all the people, people watching us right back. Standing by the missing signs at the CVS, by the checkout line. She puts her quiet hands in mine, ‘cause she’s the brightest thing I’ve got.

bornandraised-jm:

Covered in Rain- John Mayer

Jeff Buckley: 15 Years Gone

I had always been a fan of music. It’s been, I think, a natural progression when it comes to my musical taste. My taste ranged as a punk/emo listener when I was 13/14 years old then went onto a grunge phase for a period. After that, I became a classic rock lover, as my all time favorite still is Led Zeppelin. Now, my tastes are all over the place. I listen to the best of all genres, the stuff that can make me feel.

Only two years ago, my brother would play the singles off Grace as background music, as I would sit idly by. It wasn’t a moment of clarity, but the songs echoed around in my head for a good month until I needed to hear the chorus to “So Real” again and again….again.

I still hadn’t understood yet because Jeff Buckley arrives to you when you need him to.

I was feeling broken last year, after some problems with friends that were all my doing. I was guilty, loveless, and still hurting. I was in complete darkness, with my friends second guessing me, me second guessing love, and my music dwindling of the fire that helps creation. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t like who I was.

While my ex-guitarist was messing around, I played him the cover Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, and asked if he could learn it. We covered it, and I did a decent enough job.

I searched on youtube for this mystery man named Jeff Buckley. Again, I had prior knowledge, but now I was very curious. As the ambient intro to “Last Goodbye” glowed and those opening chords go back and forth, I was enamored. His voice, the lyrics, his grace. Finally, someone spoke for me.

From that day, I haven’t looked back. I’ve deemed “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” as my favorite song for me because of the time and place I heard it. It was all too perfect. I own all his albums (studio and live), and listen to them as a source of inspiration and medicine. Whenever I’m in a writer’s block, I put on one of his CDs, and the words seem to find themselves. No one, not Kurt Cobain, not Robert Plant, not Anthony Green, has ever inspired me like Jeff Buckley has. 

I was a fan of music before. Now, I’m completely infatuated with its power. Jeff is the reason I seriously picked up the guitar and try to become great at it. He’s the reason I write songs and write poetically without fear of being scrutinized. He’s the reason I try to SING, yes, SING on every song, and do so the best I can. And when I was in that dark place last year, I needed someone to tell me it was okay. Through Jeff’s songs, he taught me even the purest people fuck up and feel alone. He makes you want to be a better person, to be the very best.

For a man I didn’t know, you can’t help but feel like you know him and I do miss him. I can’t watch a documentary of his without completely falling apart because I know there is no replacement. No chord will ever come out of his guitar, and no note from his voice that can make you forget the pain for 4 minutes or so will ever reach a live mic. All we have is the music he left behind. It’s not much, but it’s enough.

And on this fifteenth year, I will be listening. Because to make him come back to life, all you have to do his press play.